ebrooklyn media/Photo by Paul Frangipane
I recently read a few articles on Medium that got my brain moving (I’m sure that’s the point but I’m a questionable writer and had no other idea of how to start this shit so cut me some slack!). ‘Be a Creative Fraud’ by Ray Mosley and ‘The Difference Between Good and Bad Writers’ by Ayodeji Awosika; two very good writers on the platform.
Ayodeji’s article is my favorite kind; in theory. It’ a tough love beat down designed for lazy people who claim to want to write professionally. I typically enjoy these types of articles. I’m a bit of a tough love type of guy. However. This PARTICULAR article, put me in my feelings. On first scroll I find his wonderful use of a Jerry Seinfeld quote,
“Writer’s block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.”
In the piece he exposes the idealistic pursuit of what it is to be a writer. The same pursuit he defines as counterfeit. He criticizes those in it for the ‘wrong reasons’.
“They’re not serious. They want to be writers, but they don’t want to write. They want the subscribers, the book deals, the TEDx talk, the podcast appearances, and let’s not forget the money.”
I don’t disagree with any of his points. In fact, I agree with him so much I’m writing a pseudo response letter. The reason I became emotionally guarded when reading these strong words is because I, like some artists and writers reading this, felt under attack. I related to the idea that I was not a genuine writer or more specifically “artist”. This is maybe Awosika’s point. The letter potentially serves as a challenge. The warning of being a douche wannabe with no self identity really makes me want to write more. A lot more. This is where Ray’s article comes in.
Almost every project I’ve ever shot I’ve had this thought. This brief moment where I fear the worst, I’ll get found out. Ray breaks down the fear of creatives to be ‘caught’ as the fraud they are. His article does a great job of debunking the myth that you’re in it alone. In fact, MOST (of the ones I looked up) brilliant thinkers and artists have openly spoke about doubt from time to time.
“From what I can tell the very best take a journey into the unknown comfortable in the knowledge they will find something of interest.”
There’s something about both of these posts that create conflict. A conflict that I may live right in the middle of. In one post I’m inspired and encouraged to even write poorly than to not. Write because I have something to say. In the other I’m encouraged to embrace these moments of fear. There’s a humble arrogance about the thought. Knowing it will work out, I embrace the idea that I do not know what I’m doing. It feels like religion; a faith that all things will work together for good, though at the moment you have no idea exactly where to put the camera and with what lens and you blindly make a decision though you have no idea if the 24mm was the right decision for the shot. There’s so much material out there that encourages creatives to take these moments in stride! One of my personal favorites is from one of the most respected cinematographers in our time, Roger Deakins.
Now I apologize if all my references are film but if you stick with me, it’ll come back around to all ways of creating.
Roger Deakins on the set of Sicario.
There was a story going around a few years ago. I couldn’t find a link but will keep looking. Deakins was being interviewed and the question arose, do you ever not know what you’re doing? Do you ever not have a plan?
At the time of reading it I remember feeling excited. Although Roger Deakins is no stranger to sharing his tips. His website has acted like as a blog for years where he answers the questions of his fans as well as up and coming film folks. It was the question. It woke up a fear of my own that I was certain Roger didn’t share where in fact, he did. When asked what he does when faced with overwhelming circumstances his answer is, “I go to the loo. They can’t bother ya in there.”
Arguably one of the greatest cinematographers of our time has moments of not having the right answer. So much so, the man hides, thinks and creates a plan away from the pressure of being ‘great’. The idea of “fraud or real deal” has and will always be a question of any who’ve has ever created and doubted in their entire lives. Naturally you doubt your own creation. Most people love to judge the creations of others, how much more critical are we with our own work?
Nicolas Winding Refn in the documentary.
Another example that intimately portrays this is the documentary of filmmaker Nicolas Winding Refn. In the film, ‘My Life Directed by Nicolas Winding Refn’, (directed by documentarian Liv Corfixen (who also happens to be Nicolas’ wife). The filmmaker conceptualizes, shoots and goes through post of the film ‘Only God Forgives’, a film which acted as his follow up to his 2011 mega hit, ‘Drive’. It’s such a moving documentary that shows real vulnerability and connects to everyone who’ve ever asked the question, IS MY WORK GOOD ENOUGH!?
The film is shot organically. With Liv and Nicolas being family, the access the director has to her subject is very cool to see. Brian Tallerico, a reviewer for rogerebert.com doesn’t share my fondness of the experimental style.
In the middle of all these ideas I still live. Somewhere between not wanting to stop creating though I have fear that it could be bad? But to Ray’s point, don’t fear not knowing.
Well shit.
If I’d known 4 hrs ago when I started this letter we’d end up here I don’t know I would’ve wrote it. Now who the fuck know what’s good enough? It may come down to how hard you work after all. Many of the brilliant points Ayodeji makes throughout his article leads back to the importance of hard work! It reminds me of the recent late great Kobe Bryant.
Put. In. The. Work.
In order to wrap up I guess what my point is I leave you with this, one of the greatest funk bands of all time. I bet when they recorded this song it came after a long argument among the band that sounded similar to this article. Do the hard work and to the rest…